Best Glasgow Threats

[scottland]

Any threat issued by the one and only Big Man from Chewin the Fat.

Ah'll pit ma boot so far up your arse thit peepul.ll think Doc Martins huv start,t makin hats.

[STU WHO]

Excellent selection of some classics here

My favourite, of modern threats, is:

"I'll boot yir arse so fukkin hard y'll have a Nike Swoosh oan the roof o' yir mooth"

[BrigitDoon]

Blimey, nearly three months between threats. Has Glasgow gone soft?

*ducks behind the sofa*

[floweredpig]

you'll be drinkin' soup through a straw for yer tea when am finished wi ya.

[dimairt]

Just wait to your dad gets in! (Well it still works on me)

Le durachd,

Eddy

[crusty_bint]

just wait till Dex is mod...

[BrigitDoon]

I don't know if this has a Glasgow equivalent. I was 18 years old, and two local hard cases were hassling me. My friend went and found Rob. Rob and I had been at school together as young children.

Rob appears and turns to the lads with a friendly smile

"A'right lads?"

Hard cases disappear faster than a shot of vodka in a Polish bar. Rob was affectionately known as "Buster". Years later, reminiscing on a long hot Sunday full of cider, he told me of his experiences in Borstal. The film "Scum" conveys something of the environment he described.

[BrigitDoon]

You remember when you wuz eatin' worms as a kid? They'll be havin' their revenge next week.

[tombro]

The reverse of scottland's threat and a real Glesga type threat from Oz !

'Ah'll smash yer teeth so far down your throat you'll have to stick yer toothbrush up yer arse every mornin' !

Tombro

[Princess Zelda]

A marauding band of neds were sprinting down Dumbarton with the cry of..."Some cunt's gonnae get hurted".

[Doorstop]

"You're gonny burst me? Son .. you couldnae hit hame oan a wet night!"

[scottland]

Slightly off topic and perhaps merits its own thread, Glasgow insults. Yer Maws goat baws And yer da loves it.

[saltirepride]

You talking tae me or chewing a brick? either way yer teeth are coming oot!!

:)

Wullie.

[scottland]

No heard that wan for years.

[saltirepride]

Ye canny beat a good ole bit o Banter!

Wullie.