Workplace Hates

[The Creeping Spleen]

Oh dear god, the place gets worse by the day.

We had a whole bunch of new starts last week. Among them half a dozen lads, barely out of their teens, who may as well have the words "I am a ned" tattooed on their foreheads.

Same style of tracky bottoms, same style of hoodie, same trainers (untied with the ends of the laces tucked down into the shoe), same "drunken sailor" swagger.

Being honest, I fully expect them to disappear, never to be seen again, at the start of next month when we get paid.


Aaaanyway...

We got a nice wee memo from our HR lady this morning, and it's an absolute belter.

I managed to discreetly snag a copy, and I'm sharing the love with you guys. Word for word, spelling mistake for spelling mistake.


Please cascade to all staff

Based on recent findings I require to highlight the following : -

Personnel continue to throw food waste in the grass area & at the benches in the corner - this is causing increase in the general amount of sea-gulls and subsequent waste that they drop around the building fabric & windows. We have already asked staff not to do this but it is still happening.

yesterday whilst cleaning at the end of shift the following was found - one vape down the toilet pan (middle cubicle female toilet) , without stating the obvious vaping is not permitted in the building and actions like this can contribute to blockages which would be expensive to clear and would also cause disruption to the daily throughput.

We have been notified this morning in the mail toilets the cubical door has been pulled off the wall. We have contacted the contractor this morning who will be coming shortly to fix this. It is still usable but please handle it with care.

Within the sanitary bins in the female toilet, food wrappers and vapes were also found. The bins are for one thing only and the name fully explains that.

Within the sanitary bin in the non-gender specific toilet more food wrappers, a vape and a pair of black leggings were found. As above this is not acceptable. Photos are available if required.

All of the above actions add to the daily operational costs and are not acceptable, I appreciate this is a touchy subject but requires addressing please before we get levied additional charges by the general waste contractor.

Please be aware the full building is in CCTV operation.



And I thought HR in Amazon were bad for corporate gibberish?

Reading between the lines, our HR lady is basically telling us "You're a bunch of clatty bastards, and the big boss doesn't want to put his hand in his pocket any more than he usually does to clean up after you."

[The Creeping Spleen]

In other news, Sticky Fingers McGhee (the office thief) has struck again. The fucker nicked my bag of rubber bands again.
I've got enough to do me tomorrow (I hope), and I ordered some more.

So in light of this, I'm now gonna take the damn things home with me every day.

[motman]

I remember Pineapple Cakes in the bakery and Coffee Buns which were flat and the size of a saucer, and remember a paper bag of Tunnocks Brokies for a shilling from the Rutherglen Rd shop, we used to use bus money and walk to Adelphi!

Pineapple cakes Used to eat those in Maclachlan's tea room in Helensburgh, on the corner of Sinclair St and the train station when I was wee. Lovely they were, chunks of pineapple sitting in cream with a bit of jam on top.

[Henrysix]

Stoap it Motman, you’ve got me salivating, I used to love the Madeleines too, you used to get coconut buns as well!

[The Creeping Spleen]

Tomorrow should be interesting.

One of the clients is coming up for a meeting with the bossman, and to have a wee nosey around.

So we've to be on our best behaviour.

[The Creeping Spleen]

The big boss, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that as a thank you for all our hard work over the past few weeks, we're having a BBQ next month.

Who the fuck has a BBQ in September, in Scotland?

At least he's sensible enough that we're having it out in the car park, rather than inside where there's several hundred shit-tons of old NHS paperwork...

I honestly, genuinely hope it pisses down with rain, and we can all go home early.

[Dot]

BBQ - I find these can be a bit hit and miss.

One of my sons had a school fundraiser thing every year and I looked forward to it.
Some parents cooked burgers outside on their own BBQ and these were served along with various salad mixtures indoors.
Food was eaten at long tables with bench style seating.

One year I was asked to make savoury rice - well it seems not many people like it and not sure it is something I would eat with a burger under normal circumstances.
In my defence it was actually quite tasty but I made an absolute ton of the stuff and ended up bringing most of it home.
After that I said never again and the following year I just made a simple salad mixture of tomatoes and peppers in a dressing and it seemed to go down well.

One school BBQ - now this was a different school was a complete washout.
It was summer but weather was awful and to be honest everyone glad to get home.
Grass was damp and people were trying to stay dry any way they could - under a garden parasol umbrella or under a tree.

[The Creeping Spleen]

Another thing that pisses me off about the bossfella is the way he just swans in whenever it suits him.

He lives in the semi-posh housing estate down the bottom of the hill. Ten minutes walk from the building.

We've been slaving away since 8am, and it's the back of 11 before he makes his presence known.

[The Creeping Spleen]

And we're back on the Wolverhampton social work stuff. Blech, hate it.

Anyway, Monday is gonna be fun.

Background: Each team lead has a large whiteboard behind their desk with the medical practice name, hourly targets etc.
So, a few weeks ago, my team lead, Marty, got a new board and has been having trouble rubbing out his own notes on it - using stronger and stronger cleaning solvents.

Frankly, the buzz I was getting off them, no wonder I was on the verge of dozing off.

So yesterday, Marty had a day off and young Ben was in charge. He had no luck with the whiteboard either, until he noticed something odd.

He peered closely at it for a minutes (all this is happening behind me and over my shoulder BTW), grabs a knife, and very carefully peels off the clear protective film from the board...

Then, to add insult to injury, he left the film on Marty's desk.

Ohh, we're gonna be taking the piss out of Marty for weeks.

[Dot]

A guy in work gave me his phone charger as I shared one with another guy which then disappeared.
Now this one has gone walk about. My own fault for not locking it away.

The guy doesn't want it back but I'd like to find it all the same.
I expect someone moved it when I was on a days leave.

Borrow something by all means but at least return when you've finished with it.

[The Creeping Spleen]

Completely agree, Dot, yes. Ask if you need to borrow something, don't just swipe it off someone else's desk without a by-your-leave.

I don't mind the lads at my table borrowing my wee dustpan and brush when it comes to tidy up time at the end of the shift, but they ask first.

But like I keep saying, it's those light fingered buggers on the nightshift that piss me off.

[Henrysix]

Dot/Spleen, might be a long shot, but do you two work BBC at the same place or nabe the thief has two jobs!

[The Creeping Spleen]

Unlikely, unless our good friend Dot works for On Site Scanning down in Gourock.

[Dot]

Finished work on 20th December so taking leave and not back till 2nd January.
I have always thought it would be good if we got 2nd January off as you do in Scotland.
Perhaps I will just book an extra day off next year.

They had a quiz on teams on my last day before Christmas but to be honest not sure how many took part.
Think it was all rather last minute. Nice idea but as others were also heading off before Christmas I imagine most people just be trying to get cleared up.

I do like a quiz but maybe next year we could have a bit more warning.

[The Creeping Spleen]

I finished up on 22nd December, and I'm back on the 4th of January. Should've been the 3rd, but given that public transport is always a bit dodgy the first couple of days after New Year, I decided to take an extra day off.


Anyway, a new wee wrinkle at my work is we've all now got a wee QR code on our ID badges.
Seems to be a measure to stop people cherry picking easy boxes to work on.

It hasn't been officially adopted yet, I suspect it'll go live in the New Year, and I think it'll go something like this - scan the QR code on the box of files, scan your badge, then scan a QR code on the wall.
Something like that anyway.