Rhymewatch UK

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Rhymewatch UK

Postby Sharon » Tue May 31, 2005 5:29 pm

Incident Report: 3948095810

Description: Jack & Jill fell down a hill
------------------------------------------

Were they pushed?

Were you in the area at the time?

Did you see it happen?

There were reports of a sinsister character with oddly large hands in the area at that time driving away in drty white transit van, do you know anyone that fits that description?

We need your help. The lines are open.
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Postby Captain Brittles » Tue May 31, 2005 5:38 pm

I believe he was reading the 'Sun' when driving away .........
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Postby Vinny the Mackem » Tue May 31, 2005 7:20 pm

And just in from Kirkcaldy Sheriff Court (with apologies to Chewing the Fat!)

Mr Humpty Dumpty was found guilty of assault on his wife, Mrs Dumpty, by pushing her off the wall to her injury. In mitigation his solicitor, a dubious Mr d'Mackem, explained his client only wanted to see her crack.

Sentence was deferred for reports.

Sorry!! :oops:
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Postby Fossil » Tue May 31, 2005 8:00 pm

Missing person


Earlier today a Miss Muffet was sitting on her tuffet. Consuming some curds and whay.
At this point in her lunch hour a large arachnid proseed to sit beside her.

Which in turn caused her to flee from the scene.

Anyone with knowledge of her whereabout please contact the local police station.

Officer Fossil
Bum tit tit bum tit tit play yer hairy banjo
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Postby Pgcc93 » Tue May 31, 2005 9:28 pm

Animal Welfare

Mary had a little Lamb that wouldn't stop grunting so she tied to a garden fence an kicked it's little cunt in.
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Postby turbozutek » Tue May 31, 2005 9:44 pm

Goldfish Update

Oh, my wet pet.
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Postby duncan » Tue May 31, 2005 10:27 pm

Child abuse
Georgie Peorgie arrested for kissing the girls and making them cry.
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Postby Apollo » Wed Jun 01, 2005 12:52 am

Deviant behaviour

Goldilocks and the three bears

met

Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf

Result

Itchy and Scratchy
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Postby paladin » Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:36 am

Yankee Doodle came to town
In a big black Caddy
He stuck a feather in his hat
And cried out " Who's the Daddy"


Yankee Doodle play it cool
Yankee Doodle Dandy
Give 2000 marines some bromide*
To stop them bein' randy


Yankee Doodle have a nice day
Yankee Doodle Dandy
Have a G8 game of golf
And stay off of the brandy.
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Postby Apollo » Thu Jun 02, 2005 9:58 am

Police today announced they were calling the high-tech crime squad in the hunt for a malicious virus writer after the following report was received:

Hickory dickory dock
The mouse ran up the clock
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Postby Alycidon » Thu Jun 02, 2005 11:13 am

Mary had a little Lamb

Horror shock probe - Genetic engineering has gone too far?

Mary has a liitle sheep
It's fleece was Green as Grass
Every time she cut it
She used a mower, silly lass!

(Oor Wullie book c1970s)
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